No interesting title to place here

I have had a lot of things on my mind this week, and am gonna give this a go on my iPhone instead of getting my butt out of bed to use the big computer; however, being as sick as I am I think I might be able to use that as my excuse. Nope not a enough excuse, I had to go to the computer. Its gonna take me less time to do it this way :)

I thought it would be a blessing to be moving. I thought I wouldn't miss a single thing around here, well not really, I thought i would miss only a few things. One was the pastor at our church: Ive come to realize however that its NOT Shawn who I'm listening to but God is being shown through him. Let me just say that if you are feeling like you need to hear something God is saying and you don't think you can do it on your own, I would say take a trip to morningview baptist church you cant deny what God has to say there. Whether its listening to the Sunday school teachers, or being encouraged my those you see in the hallways you can see God working. I find it amazing how much I learn from my children. I wasn't raised in the church and Ive never really found a place that I can hear his word as clearly as I needed, or feel like I'm learning anything. Granted I don't know a lot about the bible, but I'm learning and felt like I was doing that there. My kids will come home and tell me some story and I have to look at Daniel to make sure that the story is right, usually it is and I have never heard it before. I am trying to read my bible more often, and I need to stop using every excuse in the book. I thank God for everyone at that church and for allowing me the blessing of walking with them. We have had some really tuff experiences since we have been here, and people's love for us was overwhelming at sometimes. But it was awesome to know that these people care for us like we are a family. We are, we are brothers and sisters in Christ and it is an awesome thing to be a part of. I told Daniel if there was a way that we could take them with us I would. Then I realized that God put us here for a short time for some reason, and we should take the lessons that we have learned here, and share them with those we are going to encounter on our journey to California. As we were trying to figure out about the housing situation, we found to houses that WE liked. But then when Daniel and I were praying together, we both saw that we don't need to be praying that God will give us a place to live because we knew he will, BUT what we NEEDED to be praying for was that He would put us someplace that He could be known and that we could be used by Him to do His will (whatever that maybe and wherever that may send us). When we started to do that more things fell into place, and the beauty of the Lord is amazing.

The main reason that we were applying to get out of here was because of Joanna and her health concerns. I must say that I love her dearly but having to watch her more and more, I feel like my other children are being neglected. I hate to say that but I really do feel that way. Daniel is an awesome father but I cant be the awesome mother God wants me to be without getting help. So for one of the first times in my life I needed help. We had run out of options and things that they could do for her anyways, and felt like if we could get to California, the doctors are better, theres family there that could help not just me but the kids as well. We will be there for 4-6 years(God willing) and I hope that he can use us and Jo (and the other kids to) to do some awe filled things for his Glory.

I knew this lady once, that I Loved (still love) very deeply, I have seen her two boys grow for 4 years now and feel blessed that the Lord allowed her to be in my life. I never thought our friendship would come to an end but apparently I was wrong. I'm not even gonna get into that because it hurts and I don't feel like I should bad mouth anyone, which I wouldn't do anyways, but still those things arnt important. What is is the fact that I will miss those boys TERRIBLY! I cant say that I feel like Ive lost them like a death because frankly Ive been there done that. I do feel horrible that at least I know where Lois-Mae is, but I wont know where those boys are, how they are doing, or if they are hurt. I worry for there safety everyday. At least when I could see them I knew they were OK. Now I don't, I don't know if they are cared for or loved :( and it breaks my heart. I just have to trust that the Lord will take care of them and keep his arms around them to make sure that they are safe. Lord only knows! Oh, Father, watch them, keep them under your wings.

I was gonna write about how I lost my wedding ring, but I'm not gonna I have a few to many other topics I want to hit on.

I was suppose to be having Lois-Mae this week. By all earthly account I was suppose to have a happy, healthy beautiful baby girl that we were gonna see grow to be a wonderful women. Isn't that what this world wants for us. Beautiful perfect children? My daughter is beautiful, she IS perfect! She just has the blessing of being with Jesus and walking with him better then we could ever think. Yes, most days I wish I could hold her or wonder what she would of sounded like, what would she of looked like? All I have is the faith that she is well taken care of. PRAISE JESUS!

I have been crying a lot today, which I do when I'm on pain killers. I get so much more sappy :) Every time I see my children, they amaze me. The things the big kids say/think/do. MOST the times the innocents that they have for different things. I LOVE to see the happiness on Levis face as hes running around getting into everything or trying to find someone who will let him hug them. His favorite thing to say this week is: UT-oh Dude. It is so cute to see him point to everything and say that, or mumble about who knows what... he does though. I just Love to follow him around and watch how much he's enjoying himself. IN THE PROCESS he still is not without sin. Isn't it amazing to see even at such an early age how they can fall into this? here we are as adults sinning of things that should be so easy for us not to. Yet to see the children and the things they have learned already with disobedience or lieing. It just awes me. I wish there was someway I could take that from them, I wish I could take all the hurt that we already know they are gonna have. As parents I can only pray for them, and do my best to teach them the things that the Lord wants me to.

What a blessing and a struggle to be a parent in the world, Lord Jesus help me... help us all <3

My hope is built on nothing less
Than Jesus’ blood and righteousness;
I dare not trust the sweetest frame,
But wholly lean on Jesus’ name.

When darkness veils His lovely face,
I rest on His unchanging grace;
In every high and stormy gale,
My anchor holds within the veil.

His oath, His covenant, His blood
Support me in the whelming flood;
When all around my soul gives way,
He then is all my hope and stay.

When He shall come with trumpet sound,
Oh, may I then in Him be found;
Dressed in His righteousness alone,
Faultless to stand before the throne.


On Christ, the solid Rock, I stand;
All other ground is sinking sand,
All other ground is sinking sand.

""Anyone who listens to my teaching and obeys me is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won't collapse, because it is built on rock."
Matthew 7:24-25 --- Thank you Jesus