my brain....

I haven't been posting well, but really wanna try and get going again. There is no way I could possible catch everyone up for the last few months. I will say that we are expecting a new addition to our family no later then sept 11th of this year. I'm sure she will get here sooner then that. Her name (so far) has been decidedly Sarah-Lilly Jane Laird. This was a shock to us. I am not prepared, and because we lost Lois-mae last year I am having a hard time getting anything ready. 3 months left! not really much time for someone who likes to be organized (well more prepared ahead of time) and ready to go like NOW.

It has definitely been an interesting last 6 months. We found out January 4th that we were pregnant and i think I cried for 3 days straight. I was petrified! I was NOT ready to have another baby or in my mind LOOSE another baby. So from then until we hit the 20 weeks and went into our ultrasound I struggled. We didn't actually tell anyone until the end of February which was TUFF especially since we live so close to family. I think I was about 12-14 weeks at that time. I was scared to tell them. I knew how everyone felt about us having another baby. Everyone was pretty opened about their opinions. We were scared too! Around the end of Feb I started having these headaches. Horrible headaches! The doctors said not to worry about it that it was probably due to hormones level changing. They got worse and worse. I went to the ER several times. Finally got an apt to the neurologist for may 20th. The verdict? They think I have a blood clot in one of the small vessels in my brain that is causing problems. What do I do? They want to put me on a medication that will prevent seizures. I cant bring myself to take them thought because its in the same category as the medication I was on when I was pregnant with Lois-mae and I really think that it was a cause of her not being here today. The doctor understood. So for now I suffer everyday from the worse headaches that you can imagine. I am under watch of the neurologist and the OB. We will see what happens.

So yes my brain is all silly at times cause it hurts. But I still feel so blessed that I get to watch my family grow so fast. TO FAST.... Benjermen is 6 and will start first grade in just 2 months! Jenasis will be having her 5th birthday in a week, and starting kindergarten in 2 months. Joanna is 3 1/2 and continues to struggle with her behavior and development, but she is working so hard! she will start preschool in the special education program in 2 months. and Levi well he is a 2 year old boy who has more energy then I have ever seen a kid have. ITS INSANE! but he is a mama's boy and, like Jena, will talk your head off. He has the cutest little voice and expects everyone to listen to him!

I hope that I can do my best to keep everyone a little more posted or at least be able to use this as a place to write all those special moments down so that I can show them to the kids later on.

Important to me...

I know I have lacked keeping this updated, but I felt the need to sit down tonight and post this. Alabama needs our help. these family's need our help. thanks for reading.....

March 17th 2009 was a very difficult day for our family. When Lois-mae was born and called a "stillborn". I thought our hospital in alabama would be more prepared for this then I, so the only thing I worried about was delivering her, and seeing her for what would be the first and last time but not alive. I would never see her take a breath, I would never see what color her eyes would be and I would never hear her goo or gaa or smile. Our hearts were broken. We knew she was with our Lord Jesus Christ. We never asked why. we only knew that she would never hurt, or feel any of the pains of this world or suffer the devils ways. We give glory to the fact that she will forever only know Gods love and Personally I am jelous of the fact that she gets to praise him and spend her forever at his feet. THANK YOU JESUS.

However, one thing that broke my heart, though it may seem small to you. is that the state of alabama refused to issue a birth certificate to us and others that suffer this loss. Yes, the hospital gives us our "fake paper that has her name and info on it" but it's not a birthcertificate . I birthed my baby girl. I labored over her for hours and birthed her just like other children get birthed. there was no difference. When she arrived I was broken, I got to hold her just like I would any other child. I got to feel her skin because she was there. To be told that no birth certificate would be issued was shocking. ANd also since there was no birth certificate issued we could NOT get a death certificate. So that meant that the state doesnt accknowledge these childrens birth nor their death. I ask... does that seem right?

I ran across this tonight and wanted to have others know that it isnt just I who went through this but many other family's do too. It is tragic to loose a child, and no one else knows what it trully FEELS like. But please understand how important this is to us all. Click on this site, read the story and please, please sign it! please help us change this. Please make this one less thing we have to find out and think about at this time when all we really should be doing is praying to our Lord and trusting in his Holyness.
Thanks...
http://www.thepetitionsite.com/2/certificate-of-birth-resulting-in-stillbirth-alabamaCertificateCertificate

It was saturday

This is Joanna she actually ate her breakfast this morning WOOHOO!

Levi enjoyed his breakfast too!

For some reason this morning Grizzly didn't want to get up. Well he did wake up just to put himself on my lovely red couch. No one seemed to mind, we all left him there and he slept for about an hour and a half.. MUST BE NICE!

Ben had actually eaten earlier but when Jena decided she was gonna eat, Ben wanted another bowl :)

I wanted the babies to do something special for the big kids for Christmas so I decided that they could make them some Tshirts, I think they will really like them. They sure do love each other <3

I took a little break, and sat on the couch and watched dirty jobs. Of course Levi wouldn't let me leave his side. I don't mind him sitting on my lap for a bit.

Here we are at the end of the day. Everyone finally getting along, Mr. Potato heads were pulled in all kinds of directions. We do have enough to go around, so it turns into quite a nice activity.

We did so much running around today that we are completely exhausted from and really feels like we got nothing accomplished. Arnt those days great *insert sarcasm here*

It's only a bit after 8 and I think it maybe really close to my head laying on my pillow :)

Just another Friday

Hello to all my friends, how was your day? I hope the Lord blessed you! I pray that tomorrow I will pay better attention as my day goes on so I can see the work throughout the day. Instead of waiting tell my children are going to bed. I want them to see each day how much I feel Gods love and how I can show that to them. I mean if God can Love me and sacrifice himself for me then I should at least be able to show my kids a bit more love, kindness, and patience... right? I'm sure its easier when HE'S first.

So. Today was, as every week, just another Friday.

Jo had therapy and I don't know why I have only a picture of Levi in the playroom at the therapy center and not Jo.

Then here's Levi around 5:30ish just saying Hi! How can you NOT love him?!

"FISH-ES"

How big does he look?

So this was just a bit ago and you can see that Ive had a stressed week, all the were and tear shows on me. I apologize for the mess I am. Yesterday our baby girl would of been 9 months old and with the holidays being here I have been in tears.

AND... Here is my lovely husband taking a beautiful picture of himself :)

I love you honey <3

Of course that wasn't all I did today. But that is all I captured with my phone :) May the Lord bless you and may you see the beauty he places in front of you throughout your day.

From my heart to yours.

Cherry-Ann

pictures from our day

Today we will go backwards through the pictures from our day :) Mainly because the photo's uploaded backwards and I cant figure out how to rearrange them without deleting and redoing... doesn't sound like much fun lol

Meet Jo:

Jo likes her picture taken.

Jo was caught at a weird time...

No Jo is NOT trying to eat grizzly.

Meet Levi:

Levi likes to drink juice

Levi likes to drink juice out of the carton

Levi has figured out how to open that carton...

GO LEVI!

*cheers*

Here is Jo part 2...

Jo likes her long hair

Jo is learning to brush her own hair

Jo DID NOT get her brush stuck in her hair...

GO JO!

*cheers*

Here is Jo and Levi TOGETHER!!! these are the pictures most important in my house, where you see destruction and other things you will probably see them both... Here is Jo and Levi... what do you think happened???

Jo thought that both her and Levi needed to eat the popcorn that was left over from our movie last night. I don't know what happened next because I was folding laundry. That was until i hear what sounded like beads running all over the floor. Nope POPCORN. I must say the plus side to it is grizzly can come help clean it up. However trying to get everyone NOT to eat the kernels is not so fun.

Meet Grizzly:
Grizzly will love you because you are a person
Grizzly will love you because you said something to him.
Grizzly will listen and obey
and when grizzly does...
grizzly gets a car ride and every ones happy.

Picture of the day....

And the winner is?????? I've decided this would be a good idea to keep me posting on the kiddos. So here he is my "little man" isn't he one of the cutest things ever? He'll be 19months next week. I have had a hard time remembering to enjoy all the crazy things this guy does since he is our last. *SIGH* I am so glad of that. I can't wait to have the best time with all the kids and NO BABIES! He has grown 2 inches since the end of September. Hes had the biggest growth spurt in that time amongst all the kids. Jena took second at 1 inch, then Ben with 3/4 of an inch and last Jo at 1/2 inch. Shoot we were just happy that she has grown any! I think the diet they have her on is working great, now we just have to have her MAINTAIN her weight.

Back to Levi. This kid definitely has had the widest personality of them all. One minute he is the most cuddly guy and then the next he is jumping off of the BACK of the couch or trying to fall face first (no hands) onto his bed. I don't know what I'm gonna do with him. He did fall off the alligator today at Jo's OT appointment, got the top of his head on the wall, I went over to check him out (cause you know there are other people around) and he did what I thought he would.... What's that you ask?... got up and went moving on. Yah he was a bit tearful, but did he want any loves? nope! I think all this biting and beating that Jo does on him is gonna get her back, and sooner then we think. I'm waiting for the day he just halls-off and knocks her on her butt. <3>

He loves to sing and dance. He's got "twinkle, twinkle, little star" down pretty darn good oh and his favorite is "the itsy bitsy spider" He cracks me up when we do "patty cake" his rolling turns into rotating his arms in some WEIRD fashion while saying "woooh's et" Don't you just LOVE the way little kids sound when they learn to talk? trying to get it right and they think they are but they are just off a tad. I find it amazing how all the kids sounded different yet I still could tell you what they said.

I've been pretty down and out about being a mom and a parent lately and I am now very glad I took the 10 minutes to do this. I got a smile out of myself and the Lord has blessed me through a not so great day! "THANK YOU JESUS"

"Yes, 'tis sweet to trust in Jesus,

Just from sin and self to cease;

Just from Jesus simply taking

Life and rest, and joy and peace."

~'tis so sweet to trust in Jesus~

today is tuesday

Yep, that's right it is Tuesday. I even KNOW it's Tuesday which is a shock because I can never remember what day it is, actually I can never remember anything about the days. They all seem to run together. I know that is normal for a SAHM of 4 who is busy with everyday things, and all our daily life.... stuff....

I have not been so good at keeping everyone posted with life. I seem to do better in keeping individual contact with people. I guess that comes with not being a people person... HOW?? I do not know, but I think that's my excuse.

I am exhausted. I am over whelmed. I am Cherry-Ann Laird. My lord loves me, I him. My Daniel loves me, I him. My children love me, I them. And that is all that keeps me going each day.

I need to get my Christmas cards out. Yes, they will be cheesy, they wont even have pictures, and they may only say Merry Christmas. But will everyone know I am thinking of them? Well I certainly hope so. I enjoy listening to people, I do not like talking to people, but my ears are always here and open. I am that shoulder others need, but I do not have a shoulder when I am in need. That's OK. I know this loneliness will only be for a short season.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-14:
"There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
What does the worker gain from his toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on men. He has made everything beautiful in its time. he has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil -- this is the gift of God. I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that men will revere him."

Anyways I've just been really lonely way over here with my life and I know that with God he will help me to not be so lonely however my earthy human self is being very selfish and self pity is getting in my path. So please keep me in your prayers as you go through your day, that God will give me the strength to make it through with him, and the wisdom to ASK him for it!

~From my heart to yours~